/My Heart Desire

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Status : experience teaches us become more mature

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should i still happy?
I had ever wish that I was her, ever close my eyes and think about what could've been. I find it hard to breathe. Look at me, in my eyes. and tell me that you feel nothing inside. cause I can't wash you off my mind. so, I'll forget I love you. give up on us and don't want you anymore. I'll keep on lying to myself, cause we could've had it all. and I should keep pretending that you're only just an ordinary friend. Please dont ever hurt me again :(  Sometimes i feeling fine even it's hurt. I'm alone tonight, wasted my time, crying alone. 
It would be wrong for me to say. 
I don't need you by my side. 
I don't need you in my life. 
I don't want to talk it out or hold you when you're sad.

I don't want to say ' you're my kind'.
I don't want to say ' I wish you're mine'
I don't want to tell you ' I love you more than life'

But honestly, I cant ! I need you by my side, i need you in my life and i want to talk with you when you're sad.
Every seconds, every minutes, every hours, every days and always. I cant stop thinking about you. What are you doing? Where you go? With whom? I tell myself, I'm feeling swell. but I know, I'm such a fool. I could take it as a new beginning but you know, I don't feel that way. Who will take all this pain away? I know it's wrong for me to say about a sin. One day, I will walk into the other side. I would run back in. I wouldn't waste no time. I wouldn't let you go.
Hye dear, i miss you so damn much *scream*


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